May I have your attention please
May I have your attention please
Will the real slim shady please stand up
I repeat, will the real slim shady please stand up
We're going to have a problem here...

Ya’ll act like you never seen a white person before
jaws all on the floor like pam and tommy just burst in the door
started whoopin her ass worst than before
they first get dirvorced throwing her over furniture (scream)
It’s the return of the
(all wait, no way, your kidding, he didn’t just say what I think he did, did he?)
And Dr Dre said...
Nothing you idiots Dr Dre’s dead hes locked in my basement (haha)
Femenist women loved Eminem
chicka chicka chicka slim shady im sick of him
look at him walking around grabing his you know what
flipping at you know who (yea but hes so cute thou)
Yea I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
but no worse than whats going on in your parents bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and let Loose,
but can't, but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
my bums on your lips my bums on your lips
and if im lucky u might give it a little kiss
and that’s the messege we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to know what a womens clitoris is
of course there gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit 4th grade,
they got the discovery channel don’t they?
We aint nothing but mammals, well some of us cannabals
who cut people open like canolopes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then theres no reason that a man and another man cant elope
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote
Women wet your panty hoes, sing chorus and it gooooesss

*chorus*
Im slim shady
Yes I am the Real Slim Shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So wont the real slim shady...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
becuase Im slim shady
Yes I am the Real Slim Shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So wont the real slim shady...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up

Will Smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
You  think I give a damm about a grammy?
Half of you critics cant even stomach me, let alone stand me
(but slim what if u win wouldn’t it be weird?)
Why? For 2 guyz can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And remark you over who she gave head to first
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
(yea hes cute but I think hes married to Kim, hehe)
I should download a audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave eminem vd (scream)
Im sick of you little golden boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you
And theres a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me
Who just don’t give a fuck like me
Who dress like me
Walk, Talk and act like me
It just might be the next best thing
But not quite me

(chrous)

Im like a headtrip to listen to
Cause im only giving you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only diffreance is I got the balls to say it In front of ya’ll
And I don’t got to be false or sugar coated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
Wheather you like to admit it
I just shited better than 90% of you rappers (unknown)
Then you wonder how can
these kids kids eat these albums, like valumes
Its funny cuz the rate im going when im 30
Ill be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses ass when jacking off with jergins
and im jerkin
But this whole bag of viagra isnt working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King spitten on your onion rings
Were in the parking lot circling
screaming I don’t give a fuck
With his windows down and his system up
So will the Real Shady, please stand up
and put one of those fingures on each hand up
and to be proud to out of your mind and out of control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

(chrous)

(laugh)
I guess theres a slim shady in all of us
Fuck it
Lets all stand up